*WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST IS WAY OVER DRAMATIC. IF YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT IT THEN FUCK OFF CAUSE I'M NOT INTERESTED*
Hmm, it's weird. Lately I feel like I've been drifting alot- and I'm crying alot. It's as though I've got loads on my mind and then it's like I haven't. I really don't know what to think. It's just so much fucking easier to tell people your fine and put on a happy front than it is to like explain why your upset or "not yourself". That's a phrase that's being used alot in my direction lately. I know I'm not myself.I've been forgetting things and noticing that I'm actually really quiet in classes and like am only speaking when I'm directly spoken to. Other than that I seem to be quiet as a mouse. It's so weird cause before shit started happening I was like talk talk talk but now I'm just like *inner thoughts* "sshhh keep to yourself dude." and like I had so many people say to me "aw you kay? your not really yerself" I just use the easiest excuse and say I'm tired and yeah I know that's like the most typical thing you could possibly come out with but it is partically true and like I really don't know what's made me act out of sorts over the last few weeks but like, it's even got to the point where I'm upsetting myself and I don't know what to do cause everyone has their own problems and I always feel really bad if I was to unload on someone else. Like seriously I've bewildered myself because I can't even get an answer. And yeah okay part of it is me feeling like all depressed about not having a boyfriend when people are talking about their other halves and like it's like I really don;t know what I'm to say cause I'm like "shut up at least you have a boyfriend/girlfriend". I hate fucking singlness so fucking much like grrr at singleness. It's so fucking stupid like I know I'm 16 but like I hate being single and blah blah blah. Ughh I'll just end up crying again so I'm gonna shut up.
Today was good. Went liffey valley with the people [Lucy, Efa, Sionnan, Elise Cliff [ for a little while] buttons, chris, martin, sean, danny, dan, nicky and gary] it was real fun. Went to starbucks, most people got something. Then we saw A Christmas Carol in 3d and took like 2 pairs of glasses each [except buttons he took 3 cause he had a theory...] anyway yeah it was so cool. I had never seen a 3d movie before and of course its such a new experience and like it was so funny the trailers were in 3d and i was al "ahh omg its gonna hit mee!!" and like hiding in elise. Quite the hilarious and then Dan was on my other side and we made jokes about like everything that was said. No one else was being quiet in the whole fucking cinema so why should we? Then we went to the food court and squished around a table. Funny stuff. Then were were like ughh can we go? Then at the bus stop me efa lucy elise and sionnan sang songs in a circle and didn't give a fuck what anyone else thought. Well no one could really hear I don't think cause of the noise of the motor way. Then I got home and watched Xfactor and got a chinese.
My hair is not being very co-operative lately. There's one little fucking flick on the back and its all like grrr straighten you motherfucker! But it never does. So like the rest of my hair is grand but then I turn my head and it sticks out like a fish on sandpaper. Not cool at all.
YC was sooo funny yesterday. We got told off for having fun. Then Matt started making me laugh and I was like omg stoppp haha. I'd just like to state that we are teenagers and are tempted at succeeding in breaking rules so give us a fucking break alright? sheesh.
Hamlet essay to do tomorrow. Grr. I hate the pressure teachers are already putting on us about leaving cert. Shut up. Ughh whatever.
Can't be bothered publishing more. Envy at Danny and Lucy for being able to blog way more than I can. [love you guys really though xD]
Comment my goddamn blog. Social fail if you don't.
Grr I fucked up my blog skin. It looks all stupid now... Might try get a new one today if i've got some time. English homework is calling me to do it, the academic nerd in me in screaming "do the essay!! use the soliloquy notes you know you want to..." I shall push my inside nerd away for now. Until later, just before xfactor.. maybe give myself 2 hours or so. Yeah. That's what I'll do.
So YC was okay on Friday. Jess curled my hair and it was really cool, then Hazel loaned me "That black top". We were made sit in a circle and attempt a group singalong to songs while Scott and Dave played guitar to help us...It was alright, then we [Sionnán and Efa and yours truly] tormented Jonny for the night. He knows we love him really though. Lots. They were my twins for the night. I've grown really close to both of them lately and its cool [ily girls]. There's an unspecified connection I have with them and its somewhat comforting to know that they trust me and I trust them. Like its very cool. I like it. Listening to the Coronas right now. Love them-- Especially their song "Heroes or Ghosts", *clicks repeat*. I remember when I heard that song first. It made me cry for some reason. I wrote down the lyrics as I lstened to it. I felt a feeling of moving on or people leaving, or yano along those lines, in the song, maybe that's whats the songs about? That's the feeling I get from it anyway.
Couldn't sleep last night until like 3am. Played Bowling on my phone until half two then texted peeps who were awake. Cause the interent on my 3 phone fails and wont stay connected so I couldnt go on msn. I was so bored. Eventually fell asleep.
I watched Twilight yesterday. Don't worry I am still very much anti-Twilight-saga. I dont get what the big fucking point is? Oh I'm a vampire but I'm not going to bite you? I'm all protective of you cause i love you but i wont suck yer blood? What? Get the fuck over it- its fucking vampires. They arent even real. Fair fucks to Stephany Meyer though for drawing in so many people. It's like Harry Potter all over again. Ughhh.
But yeah, went to Liffey Valley with Efa yesterday and it was fun. We got fooood. Had another fat day. fun fun fun. Origianlly went over so I could get new shoes and she could get earrings. We got neither. Earrings were too expensive and neither shoe shop in Liffey Valley had the shoes I wanted in my size. Boo you whores.
Xfactor tonight. Hell yes. Love it at this stage now where the pressure is really on the contestants, its fun to watch them fuck up their songs, then again its equally fun to watch them ace it and make it their own.
Ahh bitta Kings of Leon- Molly's chambers. Can't beat it. I love the way there's a line about him getting a blowjob. Haha. Subtly but obviously sung. Well done. KOL FTW. I love abbreviations.
End. Of. Post. My Twitter URL is over there somewhere. Comments Please.
Here's my favourite song on iTunes : Kings of Leon- The Bucket. What a song. seriously, I hearttt it :D *clicks repeat*
School, jesus, its just so tedious and every day just drags by. The second hand, I swear half the time I'm just watching it slowly drift by wasting seconds of my youth. Its not fair. Then I look aroundthe room and see people's different reactions to the lesson. Some do the I'm texting but looking down and pretending to read notes technique, some use the I'll write notes but I'll talk at the same to prove to myself i can infact multitask, some chose the silent root- they get their heads down and actually do the work, then there are the dreamers, who do a very cartoon-like head tilt towards to window, who sit there off in their own little world in their head. I honestly find them the most amusing becaue when the techer asks them a question and they don't know they take a random guess and say they have been listening the entire time etc. I got so organised after the Study Skills workshop we had yesterday. I asked my mam to bring me down to tesco to get some folders, refill pads etc. Now i feel all super nerdy in a good way cause i know where everything is and its cool.
Yc on friday. Me hopes people go, its movie night. I'm gonna be like texting the whle movie if its a horror movie cause i don't like horror movies at all. I'm so scared of them. All the shrill exaggerated screaming of someone having a knife jammed in their back or being possedsed. Get over it. Lets watch Finding Nemo.
Can't get over this awful cold snap [allover..?] Ireland is getting. I'm like waiting for my bus in the mornings shivering even with my coat and scarf, like teeth chattering cold its so not cool. Grr, it better snow, but in a nice way, not in like the mid February fall we had just gone where the whole fucking island of ireland came to a stop. Get over it its fucking snow. It's pretty. I love watching snow build up on the grass or falling off a leaf onto the ground. Its so surreal. wow I'm beginning to sound like a poet, Robert Frost watch out! Haha. Not!
People are hounding me nowadays to study. Shut the fuck up. I'll study when I want to. Christmas tests shouldn't be the biggest of my worries. I'll study for them when the time comes. And anyway, whats it to you if i study or not? It's my Leaving Cert. So shut up and put up with the way i choose to study. [kbbzyeahbye]
Well aren't you a nice lil stalker for reading my blog? Only joking :) Seriously thanks. Maybe just leave a comment. otherwise you leave me with a feeling of total blog fail which means my blog sucks. nice job. Haha. Gotta be cruel to be kind. So today was good, met up with Efa and Lucy. Walked down to the playground and couldnt find anyone until we were walking past Castle Village then we saw Ste and Chris and people who i actually couldn't see cause my eyes are stupid and I'm like semi-blind. Haha. But yeah we like hugged and then they went to Chris's house and we went to Aisling house and we sat in Aisling's kitchen for like and hour and a half just having a good oul chat. Lol. Eating barbeque tortillas. Yum. Teenage insecurtities. Not planning on doing anything stupid calm downnnn! People worry about me too much. I'm grand. this is just a teenage insecurity paragraph so scroll right past it xD.......................................... :) I feel so fat today like its actually ridiclous.Today I ate like, cereal, 2 animal bars, big ass bar of aldi chocolate, loadsa tortilla chips and like then i went home and ate more. Fat? Ha. Yes. Like i know i'm not the skinniest of all girls but its these days where i realllly wish i was like the majority of girls who can eat like a fucking horse and not gain a pound. Its so upsetting. I hate my body. Grr at mother nature for making me like this. And like some little fucker on my bus implied i was fat this week and like he's not exactly Brad Pitt himself so I don't know where he thinks he gets off talking to me like that. I know I'm fat. Diets are just too fucking hard. Fair play to the girls who are like totally motivated to stay on them. But I just can't do them. Evidently. Hate my body. Hate that i've put on weight since i went back to school. Hate that i thought I could actually keep off the stone and a half that I lost during the summer. I'll shut up now. Blahhhh.
It's so difficult liking someone who you dont know if they like you back. It's like..everytime I see a person that I like quiet a bit like I try and just keep as cool and calm as I can and usually it works out well. But like I hate being the one that always has to make the conversation. Like hello? Conversation works two ways. I thought myself I was pretty easy going and easy to talk to but evidently not cause the person that I do like seems to see the opposite. Lie i'm not an intimidating person. I'm very chiled like seriously? Just chill and talk to me. I won't bite. Unlesss.... ;)
Last night was really funny. In YC we had to do like a mini-talent show. It was..entertaining. When it came our turn, [jonny lcy and yours truly] we decided to sing Ignorance by Paramore and I thought "This will be fine, I know the song" and we started off grand but then Jonny went off time and I was like oh shit and Lucy was like "He's off time" so we tried to pick it up. realising just how badly we were failing. Jonny stops playing. Looks at me and Lucy. Says "when in doubt--Wonderwall". Diarmuid comes up cause he knows the song to help us out. Jonny breaks out into the Wonderwall intro. I blanked on lyrics but picked it up mid-verse and we got everyone singing. It was humilialting yet oh so hilarious. Couldn't believe we did it.
Gonna watch Xfactor tonight with the little sister, parentals are heading out. It has totally become a guilty pleasure of mine since the second series sorry. Just watching the auditions [ the bestest part] and then the live shows and judging people is entertainment in itself, then of course we have the judges comments and judging the judges. That's ironic. Yeah. Can't wait to see Jedward. Should be interesting if what the news headlines are saying is true...we'll see later on I guess.
