Take a look at yourself in the mirror? What do you see? Is it the person you wanted to be? Is it the person you wish you had never become? Is it all a lie?
Regret is a funny thing, I sometimes find that people who'd say "no regrets" are really chilled and cool. but like seriously? You havent got one itsy bitsy regret? Really? Wow. Good job. I have regrets though. Just like your average person, I've kissed the wrong people, said the wrong thing, done the wrong thing but like... as much as I'd regret that I'd look at it from another side and just thing "Wow, everything I've done, said or whatever, it has actually made me and brought me to where I am today" So I dunno, there's always two sides to everything right?
So tests are finally over. It felt as though they'd never end. Wow. They were intense. No doubt I've failed at least two. Parentals are threatening to take away mo fón póca [ thats "as Gaeilge" for mobile phone] but they'll never do it. That's why they're cool. They're not like the meany parents who ground their children. We live halfway to the back arse of no where so its no point telling me I can't go out. Bleh. It had better snow for Christmas. Which is in 3 days. I'm so awesomexcited. Woo. All the stáisúin na radió [radio stations] are threatening snow like its a bad thing. Oh no you can drive your car and pollute the planet more. Big fucking deal. Just enjoy it. Get your fuzzy socks and wellies and keep yourself warm and go have a good oul snowball war. Note I say war because snowball fights are for sissys. Haha. I'm so kind.
Town tomorrow mabye avec ma belle copine [ French for beautiful friend] Efa minus the other person because of personal engagements.
Lucy is pressuring me to finish this post. Can't take your time with anything these days. jeez. Just kidding, ily dudee <3
Is it weird that I like someone I havent seen for ages? Like proper ages. Ughh. I don't even know anymore. I mean I really like..person [x] but like... I am almost sure that there's plenty of other girls out there that like him, even if they won't admit it, and I nearly sure he doesn't even like me so I'm really questioning why I'm putting myself through this again. Cause I did it during the summer with person [y] but you probably know who that is if you've read my blog since my old one. But things went from bad to worse to better to the current stage of really good with person [y] and it terrifies me to think that all that could happen again with person [x]. I just don't know what to do. If you know me well enough for me to talk to you about this helppp! I have a friend investigating, and hopefull getting person [x] for me by Christmas but said friend only has...3 days? Hmm, we'll wait and see I guess.
Presents are currently residing under the tree in the front room. The coldest room in the house for this period of time considering that we dont want melted tree at 6:00a.m. Christmas morning, so its fuzzy green blanket galore. Snuggle snuggle.
Lucy made me join moshimosters today. I seriously love her. She's awesomesauce extra hawwwt. *winky face* Muchos love to you my dear. Second mention. Check.
Mention to Stefan now cause I tld him he's get a mention and I'm still waiting on mine so give me my mention dude seriously. almost a week ago you said it.
This is a longer-ish post. Woo. Haven't really felt the need to write much lately so I've been replacing where I should be writing with odd, to say the least, pictures.
Facebook chat won't allow me to IM with peeps that won't go on msn. Grrr. Dear Facebook FIX IT!
I can't hear through my left ear anymore. Well okay it'll probably fade later on but right now all I hear is a dimmed ringing. Last night Me Lucy Ash Missa And Jemma headed into town to see Paramore + YM@6 and it was freakin' awesomsauce. Wow. Like seriously it was freakin' awesomeee. We started to que at like 2 and doors weren't open until half six so we were all kidding around and chatting then Mr. Security man comes along and moves us, then does it twice more.No one was technically getting hurt from what we could see but still. But then we started to sing and really got people going and it was so cool. Then when we got in Cliff rang me and asked if we got into then pit, I said yes and we were untied with them for the night. I didn't like the two support bands before YM@6 cause they were kinda bring and blah-ish. Then when they came on I was all "Ahhhhh omg" like if you didn't know it was a Paramore show you would have sworn it was their show. Woo. Then we saw the green tshirt guy that we saw in the que and I was like "OMGJIZZ" Selfcontrol was definately needed. See I have a lil bit of a thing for scene/emo boys, don't ask me why but I just do. The amount of then there was like a zillion. I was like "Hell Yes". Then we were outside and I saw Richie was like "I know him that's Richie..."Heyyy Richie!!". He called me George. Why? My name is not meant to be abbreviated. Aw well, he's cool anyway so I guess its kaykay. Incase he gets a link to this, Richie's awesomeee :)
But onto a sadder note, I'm alone for Christmas. Yet a-fucking-gain. I hate this whole being long-term single thing. I sucks major bals. Like seriously? I actually fucking hate this. I'm not like, that bad of a person in all honesty. I'm not a horrible person I guess. But jesus I'd really just like the get a clear cut sentence of what in god's name is so fucking unlikeable about me? I'm not initimdating, well not really, I just hate the fact of like ughh I dont even know. That's how bad I am now. I don't even know how to put into words just how much I hate being single grrrrr. Just like on a relationshippy scale type thing I see my friends like in relationships and actually having people like them and then I look at mine and like almost cry. Its a such a feeling of rejection and lonliness, not like cause I have no friends, I do. I gots lots. And I love them all. But like boys wise I makes me feel so shitty cause its like nobody likes me... like.that.
Just had dinner, nomnomnom. I love winter dinners, they always taste nicer for some reason. I cannot be bothered studying. At all. Like ughh. Seriously. It's 5th year. Nobody studies in 5th year. Teachers need to STFU about studying. I'll do it all next year. Ughh. I'm so cracky today after the concert. No idea why. I'd normally go asleep around 1-ish on the weekends anyway. Blehh. Do not care at all.
Woke up this morning in the presence of silence. It was so peaceful and quiet. You would have heard a pin drop. It was so different compared to the normal hum of the TV in the sitting room and the noises in the kitchen of people talking or cooking etc. Total silence. It used to freak me out but now it's just like a comforter for me or something,.It's as though silence is an old friend who calms you, relaxes you but in the best of times puts me in a trance. That's why I love when teacher's tell everyone in a class to be quiet.
It's like a blanket of silence just falls over the room.
Well aren't you a nice lil stalker for reading my blog? Only joking :) Seriously thanks. Maybe just leave a comment. otherwise you leave me with a feeling of total blog fail which means my blog sucks. nice job. Haha. Gotta be cruel to be kind. So today was good, met up with Efa and Lucy. Walked down to the playground and couldnt find anyone until we were walking past Castle Village then we saw Ste and Chris and people who i actually couldn't see cause my eyes are stupid and I'm like semi-blind. Haha. But yeah we like hugged and then they went to Chris's house and we went to Aisling house and we sat in Aisling's kitchen for like and hour and a half just having a good oul chat. Lol. Eating barbeque tortillas. Yum. Teenage insecurtities. Not planning on doing anything stupid calm downnnn! People worry about me too much. I'm grand. this is just a teenage insecurity paragraph so scroll right past it xD.......................................... :) I feel so fat today like its actually ridiclous.Today I ate like, cereal, 2 animal bars, big ass bar of aldi chocolate, loadsa tortilla chips and like then i went home and ate more. Fat? Ha. Yes. Like i know i'm not the skinniest of all girls but its these days where i realllly wish i was like the majority of girls who can eat like a fucking horse and not gain a pound. Its so upsetting. I hate my body. Grr at mother nature for making me like this. And like some little fucker on my bus implied i was fat this week and like he's not exactly Brad Pitt himself so I don't know where he thinks he gets off talking to me like that. I know I'm fat. Diets are just too fucking hard. Fair play to the girls who are like totally motivated to stay on them. But I just can't do them. Evidently. Hate my body. Hate that i've put on weight since i went back to school. Hate that i thought I could actually keep off the stone and a half that I lost during the summer. I'll shut up now. Blahhhh.
It's so difficult liking someone who you dont know if they like you back. It's like..everytime I see a person that I like quiet a bit like I try and just keep as cool and calm as I can and usually it works out well. But like I hate being the one that always has to make the conversation. Like hello? Conversation works two ways. I thought myself I was pretty easy going and easy to talk to but evidently not cause the person that I do like seems to see the opposite. Lie i'm not an intimidating person. I'm very chiled like seriously? Just chill and talk to me. I won't bite. Unlesss.... ;)
Last night was really funny. In YC we had to do like a mini-talent show. It was..entertaining. When it came our turn, [jonny lcy and yours truly] we decided to sing Ignorance by Paramore and I thought "This will be fine, I know the song" and we started off grand but then Jonny went off time and I was like oh shit and Lucy was like "He's off time" so we tried to pick it up. realising just how badly we were failing. Jonny stops playing. Looks at me and Lucy. Says "when in doubt--Wonderwall". Diarmuid comes up cause he knows the song to help us out. Jonny breaks out into the Wonderwall intro. I blanked on lyrics but picked it up mid-verse and we got everyone singing. It was humilialting yet oh so hilarious. Couldn't believe we did it.
Gonna watch Xfactor tonight with the little sister, parentals are heading out. It has totally become a guilty pleasure of mine since the second series sorry. Just watching the auditions [ the bestest part] and then the live shows and judging people is entertainment in itself, then of course we have the judges comments and judging the judges. That's ironic. Yeah. Can't wait to see Jedward. Should be interesting if what the news headlines are saying is true...we'll see later on I guess.
