"Now I know what a fool I've been

But if you kiss me now I know you'll fool me again"

-Wham! - Last Christmas

I love lighting matches in a dark room and then letting them burn, slowly, wrapping around the fragile stick of wood that holds the ignited sulphur up the top, wrapping around it, and burning it slowly. It gives a weird feeling. I always feel that the spark it gives off first is always the one sparkle that reflects in my eyes, then as it burns and wraps around the fragment of cheap wood, enveloping it in extreme heat, that single flame is reflected off every surface the small shred of light touches. Fire fascinates me, its colour, its damage it can do, even the tiniest of sparks just entrances me. Watching them dance off a surface, like tiny orange stars, dancing through space. I'd love to be an astrologist just for the purpose of always gettig to look at stars, such a lazy job. [No offence] Do fuck all every day then chill out at night and look through a telescope.

I don't know what kinda career path I'd like to head down..  I'm so confused. For a good while I was so dead set on being a psychologist and was like "yeah that's definately what I want to do". Went to that career talk thing inMaynooth and was like "WTFYEHKAYIDONTWANNADOTHISBYE". So today I was sat in careers like "WTF" cause I'm so confuse about what I want to do, but someone said to me a few weeks ago that cause I've "got such an ear for music" I should try Music production or Music Technology. Which to me sounded great except points are like nearly 500 and there isn't a hope in hell of me getting anywhere near that and even I kow that. Wow, I'm just so confused, cause then as bleak as it seems I can actually see myself doing a 9-5 in an office in town. Wow. I'm gonna have a real exciting life. Woo.
Everyone seems a bit down lately, but for me, in a selfish way its nice to know people trust me and can confide in me. I sound like such a selfish bitch for saying that but don't be a weirdo and say that you don't feel the same when someone you care about confides in you. It makes you feel closer to them on some level.
Shit I been working on this post for a few days now, been moved down to father's laptop because the main computer is running a scan. Ugh. Just on the night I had an urge to blog. Lost the inspiration now.
So went christmas shopping today [Wednesday] and did the very very last of it. Present wise. Stil have to find an outfit for the season being. Got soaked coming home, walking to hazels house the fucking Easons bag ripped and my mam's present fell out and I was like omgg then she rang and i had to hold all my bags in one arm then answer my phone while the rain pelted down on me. Ughh.