"I can't get past, I'm falling fast"
The feeling is back in my hands. I lost it for about an hour or two today out with people. It was fun. Same old routine. Never gets boring. Well, not really anyway. Was supposed to chill with Keith today but plans got changed so yeah.. Maybe some other time. So yeah and that was basically it and then they hooked up [kinda] and yeah. Driving home in the car I quickly glanced out the window and saw the moonlight hitting off the clouds illuminating their outline, away up there in the sky. Making them look like puffy silver bursts of...something. It was serene, almost like an escape.
I don't know why these teenage mood swings keep hitting me so bad, but they are. I mean, I'm so happy one minute, then I suddenly get a wave of emotion and I feel like I just want the ground to open up into the firey pits of hell and I want to jump in. How bad is that? Either that or I feel like I could just break down to tears at any given moment. I hate how my mood goes from one extreme to the next, I feel like that's what could be tiring me out too because I even pick up on it sometimes. God. Something. *sigh* Now, ladies and gents, we have the wave of emotional shatter where I feel I could just break down crying because it's like I'm kidding myself over someone. I know something I shouldn't and it's killing me. I feel for a person I shouldn't. I'm confused over everything and nothing. I don't know what to do because I feel like I can't trust some people these days and I know they'll find out and it's just be a big fight waiting to happen. It's so frustrating. But I try to forget the things I know and shouldn't. It works for a while but then when people leave, I'm alone and it all runs straight back to my mind, going around and around like a spiral. Going down. I hate this. It better go away. So basically don't mind me if I go on a mad one with you, it's not me, it's a stupid mood swings. I'm gonna leave all the horriblness to my alter-ego. Amelia. She's a bitch. Get back in your box Amelia. I hate you too.
Wanna know what really sucks? I'll only stick this at about one sentence. Being "just a friend" with someone you realise you really really like. I know one person reading this will immediately think "OMFGZ I know who she's talking about" I'm sorry dear, no you don't. Everyone presumes I like people. It's amusing but even if they say the right person I say no. I have deicded I'm not telling anyone who I like anymore. It always gets back to the person and just gets wrecked so I'm not telling anyone who I like anymore. The person I thought I was starting to like turned out that I don't like that person so much cause that person likes another person and such people shall remain unnamed. But lets put it this way, it is not who you all think it is. Fun times or what?
It's weird but I often feel like when I get these down slumps in my mood that I can write reams and reams of blog. But I end up deleting majority of it cause its too weird and dark and bitchy and incomprehenable.
My blog is so bad. Crapola. Maybe shut it down? Comment and let me know mmk?
Shouts now to:
Stefan: cause he said some really nice things about my blog in a tweet and I felt so cool getting kind words from him. Yay. Tea. Yeah. I Love Him. Best Buds <3
Jemma and Ash: cause I said I'd give them a mention sometime and here you are.I Love You girliess <3
Keith Campbell: cause he's deadly in general. Phone call with him last night was cool. We WILL make chicken one of these days babe I swear xD gonna teach me xbox whatt? xD Ah I love him cause he's amazing. Love Youuu. Bestie Friendss <3
Comment me or @reply to me on Twitter here if you want a mention k? Good.
Formspring box has been added to this page too. Keep the questions within reason okay? Nice positve ones. Stop giving out to me aswell. So uncool. Grow up and comfront me in person if you got a pair okay?
Laterrrr
xoxo
Georgia <3
Labels: love, mood swings
